


Turns Out You Do Grieve What You Can't See

by teamnicedynabitch



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, M/M, Other, Parent Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22787416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamnicedynabitch/pseuds/teamnicedynabitch
Summary: Three years is a long time, but grief doesn't seem to care about time. When you show up on Koutarou's doorstep after school, he helps you to feel better. Whoever said the heart doesn't grieve what the eye can't see was a fucking liar.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Turns Out You Do Grieve What You Can't See

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda wrote this to cope. The anniversary of my dad's death was a few days ago and I ended up writing this, it might be a little specific to experiences I had with him but hopefully it's still good?  
> Feel free to request stuff, just hit me up on tumblr (teamnicedynabitch).

_There's someone sat on my doorstep_ , Koutarou realised as he turned the corner of his street. He was the only one home for the next few days, so it made sense that whoever it was wouldn't have gotten an answer. What didn't make sense was that they'd decided to wait on the doorstep. It had to be important for them to do that, right? As he got a few feet closer, a few more details became clear and he realised who it was. You were sat there, back against his front door, with your knees pulled up to your chest and forehead resting on them. This only made the situation less clear, however. You went to Nekoma, which was a few hours away by most means of transportation. He began to wonder if you'd come from school, but you weren't wearing your uniform. Were you okay? He sped up, concerned. As soon as he saw the shirt you were wearing, adorned with the album cover for some 80s British band, everything fell into place.   
"Oh, sweetheart." He whispered as he dropped next to you and pulled you close. You were shaking, though he couldn't tell how much was from crying and how much was because you'd forgotten to wear a sweater. "Its today, isn't it?" You nodded, a small sob racking your chest.   
"I can't believe it's been three years..." Koutarou hadn't known you when your dad had passed, and you didn't like to talk about it much. Kuroo had offered a brief explanation shortly after the two of you started to date- how long he was in the hospital, what had caused it and how much it had shattered you- and he'd seen you cry about it a few times, but never like this. He had no clue what to do or say. You looked up at him, drying your tears on the neckline of your dad's old shirt. "I'm sorry I just turned up like this, I shoul-"  
"You don't have to apologise for anything. Let's get you inside." He pulled you up with him, holding the door open for you. The two of you sat on the couch, your legs draped over his and your head pressed against his shoulder. Every time you tried to say anything, another wave of tears seemed to flood over you, and you'd end up back at square one. After about an hour, it seemed you had no tears left to come. Your feelings began to settle a little, and the headache associated with crying set in. Koutarou was up like a shot, bringing you back a glass of water and an aspirin. If you hadn't been consumed by grief, you'd probably be internally gushing over how lovely he was.   
"I miss him, Kou." You muttered, and he knelt in front of you, taking your hand in his. Suddenly a wave of guilt washed over you. "I'm sorry you have to deal wi-"  
"Hey, what did I say about apologising? What kind of asshole would I be if I expected you to apologise for this?" Your eyes met his, and the loving look on his face eased your heart a little.   
"Do... d'you mind if I talk about him a little?" He smiled.   
"I'd love to hear about him."

You spent the next hour and a half telling him all about your dad. You told him how safe his hugs had felt, about how the two of you would spend hours cooking together. You showed him photo after photo, the two of you at the park when you were six, the day he'd finally married your mom, the family photo outside your brothers university just a few months before he got sick. You even told him about the hospital. About how the five months he was there were the worst of your life. About how even as he was dying he'd kept his sense of humor. About the CD you kept in your bag, the one you'd bought for him the day before you died. And finally, you showed him the necklace you wore. He'd wondered about it a few times in the 8 months you'd been dating, you never seemed to take it off. He knew why now. The jewel on the heart shaped pendant was made from his ashes, the nickname he'd given you as a child engraved on the back. You cried a lot as you talked, and he even shed a few tears of his own, but getting everything off of your chest was freeing. You'd avoided talking much about him to Koutarou, you hated letting him see you cry and you could never hold back when the topic came up. You hadn't even intended to come see him, you'd been in a dissociative state since you woke up and it was only about an hour into the bus ride that you even registered what you were doing. You were glad you were here, though. Kenma, Tetsurou and the other friends you had at school were all wonderful and supportive, but none of them made you feel as comforted as simply being around Koutarou did. 

Suddenly, his phone rang. He didn't move, seemingly intending to ignore it, but you encouraged him to answer and insisted that you'd be fine for a few minutes.   
"Hel- Kuroo? Dude, slow down I can't hear a word you- missing?? They're not missing, they're here. Dude, look at your calendar. Then why'd you ask me why? It does make sense. _Yes, it does._ " He huffed in annoyance. . "Look man, it doesn't matter. They don't exactly need to make sense today." Tetsurou seemed to agree, and Koutarou put the phone down before turning back to you. "You didn't tell anyone you were coming here?"  
"My brain didn't even tell me I was coming until I was halfway here."   
"Kuroo was worried about you."  
"When is he not? He's nearly as bad as my brother." Koutarou laughed. It was true, the only time he'd ever really seen Kuroo lose his cool was when you were hurt or in danger. He was never quite sure whether to be glad you had someone looking out for you or jealous that he was as close to you as he was. He usually settled for a healthy mix of both. You got up and made your way across the room to him, standing on your toes and snaking your arms around his neck. "Thank you for today." You whispered, and he placed a kiss on the top of your head before mumbling 'of course, babe' into your hair. You stood in comfortable silence for a while, both of you content to stay where you were. Things weren't great, they never were this time of year, but they were a little easier with Koutarou around.


End file.
